As compiled by the Herald of Zimbabwe, a government newspaper.
President Michael Sata was in Zimbabwe to officially open the 53rd Zimbabwe International Trade Fair in Bulawayo.
He did not take time to make it clear that he was at home in Zimbabwe.
“I am back home,” he declared to the media that thronged the Harare International Airport for his arrival.
Having arrived at exactly 7pm at State House for a State Banquet, President Mugabe asked the First Ladies Amai Grace Mugabe and Dr Christine Kaseba to join them for a photo shoot.
But President Sata retorted: “Let them wait. After all they joined us later in our lives.”
There were more jokes during the signing of two Memorandums of Understanding between Zimbabwe and Zambia.
There were two chairs vacant in front of the leaders and Zambian Foreign Affairs and Tourism Minister Given Lubinda offered President Sata a sit.
“Why should I sit when the President (Mugabe) is standing?” President Sata rhetorically asked his minister.
He then asked President Mugabe which ministers were signing the MOUs on behalf of Zimbabwe.
President Mugabe introduced Tourism and Hospitality Industry Minister Walter Mzembi and Youth Development, Indigenisation and Empowerment Minister Saviour Kasukuwere.
“That big one,” President Mugabe threw in his own anecdote, while pointing to Minister Kasukuwere.
“Ha, Mr President, but they are so young. What do you need young ministers for?” President Sata said.
During the signing of the MoU on Youth Development, President Sata looked at the clean-shaven Minister Kasukuwere and chuckled:
“Mr President, why does this man keep a bald head? During our days if a man is shaven like this, it was either he was coming from jail or he is mourning his dead wife.”
President Sata also had guests in stitches while delivering his speech during the State Banquet.
He addressed President Mugabe as Chief of Chimurenga.
President Sata also surprised guests when he acknowledged music superstar Oliver Mtukudzi, who was not present at the dinner.
After the dinner, President Sata broke away from the entourage and started dancing to an Oliver Mtukudzi song played by the ZRP Band. During a tour of the National Heroes Acre, he questioned why there were few women buried at the national shrine.
“I think more women should die and be buried here,” he said.
His tour of Dairibord was also spiced with some laughter. President Sata chuckled why Deputy Prime Minister Arthur Mutambara had signed the visitors’ book as Prime Minister.
“Mutambara was acting Prime Minister? Where was the Prime Minister? Why was he acting PM?” he said.
At Tyron Farm in Goromonzi, President Sata approached a group of white farmers telling them: “We are brothers, the war is over and let’s work together.”
He also took time to meet Zambians based in Zimbabwe.
He was impressed by Nyau dancers at the function but remarked that they were “just an imitation” of the real stuff from Zambia.