A legacy of blunders

RB

RB

By Hilary Mulenga-No mistake about it, November proved too hot for RB’s seat. Count the weather out; it was the indispensable reality that exposed RB to the chilling fact that his popularity is waning. Dub the month ‘Black November’ and you are not far from the kingdom.

First, it was one hell of a woman. Apparently, she had exposed pictures to the relevant (or irrelevant?) authorities about the plight of a woman giving birth outside UTH. In the manner befitting professional journalism and as a sign of respect for the womanhood, CK (Chansa Kabwela) was to get national publicity compliments of RB’s comedy of errors. The case fell apart for RB and for his critics, they wondered whether Akashambatwa and the entire hood of his advisors are sweating for the taxpayers’ money they are grazing.

Then came another blow. This time it was not about RB’s personal blunders sinking him into oblivion alone but the largest Titanic showing cracks. Late Teta’s Solwezi went to the infamous UPND-PF pact. As if it was not enough, one hell of George Mpombo continued to rip apart the already weakened Titanic. In the manner befitting common sense, one wonders whether it’s not time MMD was put on auction sale.

Somehow, RB managed to put up a brave face, thanks to the Challenger Jet that soared him above all his troubles. But hey, we did Physics at least in secondary school and Isaac Newton would never have been so proud of his law of gravity. As much as the Challenger Jet graced the skies of Cuba, at last it was to land on the dusty runways of Lusaka International Airport. Welcome back to reality!

So what does RB do next? A misfire! To solve his waning popularity and the embarrassment over the CK case, he conducts a mini-reshuffle.

If you so wish that RB goes for fresher courses, recommend him to do a course on How to Manage Reality! Stamping your limping foot might not be the best possible way to show your critics that after all the embarrassments, you are still in charge. The priority is the limping foot itself, if you understand my metaphor!

What’s the way forward for RB? Resigning might not be the best possible way (for a reason that he might never attempt it!). Giving in to his critics (another National Indaba) might just add to the list the recommendations Zambians have made that will never materialize over the copper-soil! Continuing the legacy of blunders is the way forward. If he can save himself from the last embarrassment, then waiting for 2011 is the best way. After all, everyone will live to remember his legacy (although I fear if there’s anybody who will have recourse to it).

The Author, Hilary Mulenga, is a regular blogger here. The views and opinions expressed in this satire belong to the author.

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