Last week, I listened in to a talk show on Qfm featuring Foreign Affairs Minister Harry Kalaba who is also Edgar Lungu’s and the PF Rebel-Ministers Spokesperson. The interviewer of course asked him a number of questions and he answered them to best of his lying ability. Kalaba for those who don’t know him is the biggest liar this country has ever had, particularly in a leadership position. The man not only can lie without blinking his eyes, but he actually believes that his lies are the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Luckily, Zambians having been given a bitter taste of the donchi kubeba PF medicine and they know when they are being lied to as demonstrated by those who called in to the program. Here is a summary of all the calls that were entertained on the program and for those in doubt, kindly verify with Qfm.
Caller number 1: Kalaba and Lungu didn’t get permission from the president to go to visit Mugabe in Harare and that is a sign of insubordination and lack of respect. Saying that they got permission from parliament is not enough as Gut Scot is the boss of the ministers. The PF is also a party of violence
Caller number 2: How can Kalaba be trusted with what he is saying now when he lied about the president Satas sickness when the president fell ill in New York?
Caller number 3: it is difficult to trust Kalabas word. In New York he said that the president was well and now he is using misleading phrases like “the president was under the weather in New York.” Why not just say he was sick while in New York?
Caller number 4: Dr Kaseba clarified that Sata did not anoint anyone. Why is Kalaba insisting that Sata anointed Lungu?
Caller number 5: The PF is not being truthful in saying that there are no divisions within the party. They are pretending to Zambians that there are no factions. How can Kalaba be trusted?
Caller number 6: Kalaba is a minister for Zambia and not PF. He clearly thinks Guy Scot is a nobody. He shouldn’t think Zambians don’t think. Zambians are educated and are responsible people
Caller number7: Happy with Kalaba and urged him and the PF to continue what they are doing
Caller number 8: Called to just say he was supporting PF and encouraged Kalaba to soldier on
Caller number 9: Called from Rufunsa and commended Kalaba and the PF but asked them to quickly resolve the long pending issue of awarding timber licenses for Mukula tree. When the moderator advised the caller to wind up, Kalaba protested that the caller needed to be given more time as he was saying good things about PF.
Caller number 10: Is the PF working with Dr Kaseba. Kalaba gave a long-winded answer and made a lame assurance that they intend to consult her regularly as a mother of the party who had come a long way in supporting her husband to build the party to what it is.
Now here is the funny party. In concluding the interview, Kalaba said he was happy with what was discussed and with the callers that came through. He said that those that said negative things about him and the PF were just UPND cadres. He computed some quick statistics and his analysis was that out of the ten callers, six were in support of him and the PF and that only 4 were against. His inference was that 6 out of 10 callers translated into the PF winning by 60% in the January 20 presidential bye-elections. The truth of the matter is that six of the ten callers demonised him and what was happening in PF, three callers were in support of Kalaba and the PF and one asked a neutral question on the PF position on Dr Christine Kaseba in politics. Thus, in accordance with the Harry Kalaba theorem of Statistical Mathematics, the PF will amass 30% of the votes and if Kalabas qualitative analysis is anything to go bye, then the six Kalaba unfriendly callers are UPND and UPND will win the bye elections by a near landslide of 60%. But we won’t lower ourselves to Kalabas and the PF mediocre reasoning and intellectual deficiency by relying on statistical methods that evade all statistical logic. Kalaba and the PF reasoning style (or indeed the lack of it) are proof enough of the need for this country to revert to free education from lower primary to tertiary level. We hope it won’t come too late for the likes of Harry Kalaba!