Kanyama polygamist divorced for failing to follow ‘sex rota’ drawn by police

A woman of Lusaka’s Kanyama Compound has sought divorce from her husband on grounds that he had breached an agreement which obligated him to have sex with her at least two nights per week.

But the husband to the woman sparked laughter in the court room when he claimed that the only reason he does not show up was because the couple had no beddings as the woman had sold all of them.

PPM Regina Mwamba handled this case

Brenda Banda complained before Principal Presiding Magistrate Regina Mwamba that her husband Yotam Kapenuka had instead directed “all his energies to his second wife who has gotten more than her fair share of sex shifts.”

Banda narrated that the sex shifts rota in question was drawn by the police Victim Support Unit (VSU) at Kanyama Police Post.

“At the police, they told us that a man was allowed to marry any number of women he felt like as long as he managed looking after them. His other wife was also present. The police then said that my husband would spend an equal number of days in each of our bedrooms,” Banda narrated.

“But his second wife refused. She claimed that she deserved to be given more days because she is the one who kept him as he was jobless. So, she was given five nights while I was just given two. The police even made us sign this agreement,” added Banda as she produced a signed document which stipulated the exact number of nights Kapenuka was expected to spend in her bedroom as well as the bedroom to his other wife. The agreement also indicated an approximate number of sex rounds Kapenuka was expected to perform on Banda in these two nights.

Banda went on explain that Kapenuka however did not comply with the requirements of the agreement. She said Kapenuka initially attributed his failure to show up at her house to lack of transport money as he stays in Garden compound while she stays in Kanyama.

“For this reason, I started raising transport money for him just to make sure that he comes home. But he still didn’t come. All he did was to ‘chew’ my money,” she said.

Banda complained that it was not fair for Kapenuka to continue denying her sex.

Banda Said:“ I am not going to allow this. Firstly, they gave me very few days of him being in my bed…just 2 days! I am the one who was supposed to get more days because I am the first wife. Then now, he starts ‘chewing’ my money. I want to be treated like all these other wives. I can’t be sleeping alone when I have a husband. It’s better for us to divorce so that I can be free and live my life the way I want.”

Earlier Banda told the fully packed Lusaka Boma court room that she got married to Kapenuka about 6 years ago and has 2 children with him. She also told the court that apart from being unfaithful, Kapenuka was also not supportive to the family as he not only fails to feed them but also fails to pay house rentals.

But Kapenuka in his defence said although he was eager to share the matrimonial bed with Banda, the “actual activity” would be impossible because the couple had no beddings.

“In fact, this is one of the major reasons why I left her, she likes selling household properties. There is a duvet which I bought for K350, 000. She sold it together with all of our other blankets. So, how can I show up? How can we have sex without blankets?” wondered Kapenuka as the court audience laughed uncontrollably.

But during cross examination, Banda who refuted claims that she sold off the blankets maintained that even in the absence of blankets, sex was doable.

“At your age, I think you should be able to know that it’s not blankets that have sex. It’s people who have sex. Don’t accuse blankets for your failure to perform your duties.”

And Kapenuka added that he too was of the view that his marriage with Banda be dissolved because of irreconcilable differences.

Principal Presiding Magistrate Mwamba in her ruling annulled the marriage saying the couple did not attach seriousness to their marriage. She also lashed out at Kapenuka for disobeying the ‘sex rota’ drawn by the police.

“I don’t understand why some men especially polygamists get to be unfair when it comes to sex. How do you starve your partner of her conjugal rights in this manner?” asked Mwamba. She advised polygamists to be fair when drawing their sex schedules.

Mwamba ordered Kapenuka to pay Banda K 5 million as compensation. Kapenuka was also ordered to maintain his children by paying a monthly allowance of K 200,000.The Child maintenance fine which is supposed to be paid until one of the children turns 18 is reviewed…

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