I want to let you in on a secret from an 82 years old block. We were sitted on the dinner table, my father and I, that is, having small talk. Meandering from one topic to the other. Then suddenly, my father asked me whether I was ready to marry. I was 27 years old then, and still relegating marriage to the back pages of my mind. For an answer, I told my father that I was not yet ready for marriage. I could see the dissapointment forming on his old face.
Then suddenly, he asked me to listen. I shifted in my chair, as an indication that I had given him my full attention. Then he said, “when you are ready, please marry a lady for the content of her heart and not for her looks”. Now this conversation was taking place in my local language, Tumbuka, and the words seemed heavy to me. After what seemed like a long time, I finally managed to ask him why he reasoned like that. Then he said, “My son, 90% of either your happiness or your sadness will depend on the lady you marry”. From then to now, I have been trying to know the meaning of these words.
Until this morning when I turned on my ipad to catch up on the local gossip on facebook. A face of a beatiful young girl scolled across my screen as the system was updating new items. Unknown to me, my wife came bursting in the room and asked with a straight face, “who is that woman you are talking to on the ipad?” Then suddenly the words of my father came rushing as a flash in my memory, which he summarised as follows:
1. Dont marry for beauty,
2. Dont marry someone with pending business with the Ministry of education,
3. Dont marry a lady you met at the local social club,
4. Dont marry for sympathy,
5. Dont marry a lady before you have courted her for at least six months.
So regarding number two on the above list, an insecure woman would take issue with facebook for instance. Any woman that you talk to, associate with or do business with is a potential competitor to her. Especially those random women who appear on your phone, ipad or computer screeen when you start facebook. She hates comments like”Josephine commented on your posting”. Doesn’t life become a bit complicated living with a woman with a 19th centuary mentality? Mr. Editor, kindly let your readers help me answer my last question, please!
Kindly withhold my identith.