Parody: Lungu meets Jacob Zuma

ECL: Welcome to Zambia Mr. Presdent

Zuma: Thank you, how is Zambia?

ECL: Let’s just get this agriculture show done with. I need to fly out.

Zuma: He, he, he, I hear you are toping the presidential air mileage?

ECL: I am wooing investors. How is your wife, sorry wives?

Zuma: He he he he, they don’t call me JZ for nothing, true player Jigga!!

Zuma: I have another small issue to talk about, but I must first thank you for sorting out that young man Musimane, he gives me heat you know.

ECL: Your Kitchen is hot.

Zuma: I’m attacked everywhere, courts, parliament, on the streets, on Labour Day, at press conference, at funerals of liberators, name it. The pleasures of democracy, but I prefer it now than after office, so that I can enjoy my retirement.

ECL: Those are mega tonnes of bricks

Zuma: How is the heat with you?

ECL: I am all good. All my puppets and minion say things like “the able leadership of HE Edgar Chagwa Lungu sole candidate in 2021 blah, blah, blah” and I let the police take the heat for me in courts, so far they are embarrassing me.

Zuma: Actually this case is what I want to discuss, the whole thing is embarrassing.

ECL: What thing?

Zuma: the inauguration at traditional ceremony thing, the motorcade thing, the treason thing, the defamation thing, the fake sabotage thing, the baboon thing, the MP suspension thing. It’s embarrassing.

ECL: It’s the law, our law.

Zuma: Well, when it’s on BBC, the rest of us don’t care about your laws. The signs of dictatorship have the same colours. Your absurdities are catching up with North Korea.

ECL: That’s a stretch, I am not in that league.

Zuma: Off course not, but a treason charge based on a traffic incident is top drawer dictatorship.

ECL: Did you just call me a dictator, Mr. President?

Zuma: No, the Church did, the ones that blessed you in front of the altar, I saw that humbling picture of you and a priest. Things change so quickly. Just release HH.

ECL: He hasn’t recognised me

Zuma: I am also called illegal president by DA and the EFF and that’s just over my own house.

ECL: As for me I am entitled to a K5million house after serving and a K1.5million grave to be buried in.

Zuma: Zuma: Really!! This country is rich, our Madiba has a humble grave, you know. I heard Malema call you a coward, are you?

ECL: No ways, I have a big stick

Zuma: A big d……!

ECL: I said STICK, I am not like you, artists draw you with a big penis

Zuma: That’s democracy, I can imagine you charging such a person with treason

ECL: I will think about that, it might have positives and marital benefits like yours.

Zuma: Back to HH, there is no such thing as captor negotiating fairly with captive. Even rebels have better negotiating condition. The whole thing looks ugly, just release the man and when will you lift the state of emergency?

ECL: Parliament will debate that.

Zuma: Will the baboons participate in the debate? He, he, he , forgive me I joke, I joke.

ECL: The country is more peaceful now

Zuma: But people need a peace of mind to be productive, the risk of getting arrested can put a toll on them, have you ever thought about that?

ECL: Let me allow my press aid to prepare a statement on our development discussion.

Zuma: One last thing Eddie, off the record. It’s one thing if people don’t agree with your policies but it’s something else if they think you are cruel and immoral.

Richard W.

COMMENTS

WORDPRESS: 53
  • okay i love this kind of creativity!

  • upnd dont look into any 1 for hh release not even trump cn help.its your foolish mps who have failed your hh .they are cowards

  • You know something is wrong when people esp. the media fail even just to know your name. Uhmmmmm, shame

  • No such verbatim ever happened or can ever happen in any presidential diplomacy.

    • comment-avatar
      Corruption consultant 2 months

      You are right. The TRUTH is stranger than FICTION !

      What Zuma REALLY SAID was Little Lungu, if you really want to join our DICTATORS CLUB you have to be smarter about it. Jailing the opposition is very out of fashion these days. Destroying the independent media is counter productive. Stealing votes and elections died with Idi Amin. Bribing Judges is a no no.

      Pull up your socks man. The days of stealing from you clients are OVER!

      Just get some clever indians to take over the running of your country and you will be a multi billionaire in no time at all, like me! Then you can retire to Dubai and not have to ever worry that the ICC is coming to get you!

  • crazy local dogs our ours.kkkkkkkk

  • How is your wife/ wives hahahaha

  • Ndesekakofye hehehe

  • for the first time I have read something till the end posted by ZWD nice 1ne

  • THOUGHT ZUMA IS GOING TO TURN THE IVITASION DOWN ,SO THE DISAPPOITMENT.SHAME!

  • who is dumb?

    answer
    •a person who reads this post and believes it.

  • I was thinking JACOB ZUMA will visit HH at Mukobeko maximum security prison. I think he was tired or katwishi fye. Or to ask Lungu to release his colleague from incarceration.

  • Who is Jonathan Lungu?

  • African leaders are forgetting about the basics of life.why is it dat pipo just thinkabout themselves instead of the community,the country n the world at large?Humanism is been forsaken,we can make a world a better place if we consider eachother 1.

    • True. Our two former Presidents just think of themselves as well. I would have expected RB & KK to show leadership and tell off Obasanjo saying, ” Look here Oba, you can’t come all the way from Naija to reconcile ECL with HH. What do you make of us”?

  • Qĺ Cbu11h11

  • Zuma is smart

  • hahahahahahahagagagahagagGagagagafagagagafaf!!!!!!!!………….???? wooooow…

  • Hahaha. Creative.

  • what a lampoon

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  • true player Jigga!! lJigga my nigga..Lol

  • It doesn’t hurt sometimes

  • Kiki Kiki. … .

  • Now that’s funny…ba PF,please take a joke and laugh,nothing sinister here

  • kikikikikiki ba watchdog sometimes you make me happy

  • Amutulete no babwa!

  • is this conversation genuine?

  • What is reunion.?
    Reunion is when u get up in the morning
    nd tell ur wife u r going to work. u meet ur
    neighbor to make love with her. Her
    husband comes and knocks on the door. U
    go under the bed. The husband enters nd
    his wife says she want to go to market to
    buy food items. The husband takes
    advantage of his wife’s absence nd calls ur
    wife. Ur wife arrives nd they make love.
    Suddenly his wife who had gone to the
    market is back and knock on the door.
    You’re still under the bed. Ur wife rushes
    to hide under the bed. This is REUNION.

  • nankwe nankwe