Mr. President Ukwa, Chumbu Mushololwa Langford Mubanga Chanda Michael Sata Sir.
We would like to give you a report on what happened in the Zambia the country you are succeeding to destroy in broad daylight.
The report is on while you were away in the Democratic Republic of Congo attending the Common Market for Eastern and Southern Africa (COMESA) Summit
Sir, While you were away, your party suffered a humiliating defeat in Katuba’s parliamentary by-elections despite you dishing out a lot of money from Chinese road contractors through that call Call Boy and thug called Willie Nsanda.
Sir, even the Millie- Meal (Ubunga) as it is called in your language distributed by your Nephew Miles Sampa did not save your party.
Sir, it was bad.
You may wish to know your excellence that the ever watching Zambian Watchdog declared Jonas Shakafuswa winner even before midnight.
Sir the loss came even after a number of PF cadres who have adopted your violent behaviour of hacking people and setting ablaze a house in Muchenje area of Katuba. But Mr. President Sir, it is not only in Katuba that things happened (Ifintu fyalichitika or baliminyela as you sa in your language).
Even in your so-called strong hold of Copperbelt Sir. Chililabombwe or Bancroft as it used to be called since you still have the colonial Police mentality.
Sir, the same party that hammered you in Katuba which we are not going to name lest we are accused of siding with it walloped you again in a ward by-election.
Your Excellency, what is so damaging to your standing is that the candidate who walloped your party in Chililabombwe comes from Muchinga province where you also claim to hail from though we know you are from across the border.
His surname Sir is Simukoko. Simukoko Sir is not a Tonga name. Since you are very good at tribalism and regionalism you know where the Simukokos come from. It is not Himukoko Sir. It is Simukoko
Sir we tried to get in touch with you through Baby Cobra (George Chella) to advise you to come from DRC by road so that you pass through Chililabombwe to find out from the grassroots what went wrong.
We could not get through due to a technical fault by Zamtel a company you nationalised and gave it to incompetent relatives to run.
We do not want you to suffer from Heart Attack and be rushed to India on Tax Payers money whose imprest you do not even retire when you return so we will leave the issue of elections here.
However, Sir while you were away, there have been some serious revelations of misconduct by your Minister of tourism Sylvia Masebo at ZAWA.
Even your own Chola boy Muzungu Opusa Guy Scott is implicated. This is why your Attorney General Mumba Malila tried everything possible to block the setting up of the tribunal.
It’s ‘not things’ Sir (Tefintu) we translate direct for you. Sir, it is not only that. Even Opposition Members of Parliament are waking up from deep slumber (Nabasalupuka). They have been causing mayhem in Parliament. They want a road map to a new constitution which you promised to deliver in 90 days from September, 23, 2011.
Sir, hasn’t the 90 days elapsed?. Sir these are some of the events that took place whilst you were away which we thought ZWD as your most preferred source of intelligence information should give you.
Otherwise the rest of your entourage including your wife are welcome back to Zambia. You alone are not welcome. You are full of ANARCHY. You should have gone with