Zambia: the Zondwa Wabantu manifesto

Zambia: the Zondwa Wabantu manifesto

 

That clubbing and beerhall entertainment are not my cup of tea is not to say I count my friends who find entertainment mufikulwa as wayward. But then, often times than not, night clubs and bars exude illicit sex and… and, Zodwa!

Zodwa. Who is Zodwa? She is just a South African naked nobody striping herself to fame. She started with street prostitution like your relatives in Addis Ababa drive. Now she even has an office where people can go to hire her madness and she’s paid for it.

I have made several attempts to see things from Zodwa’s point of view. What I see is an empty shell of an uncultured and hopeless not-so-beautiful stripper whose moral campus was damaged from the factory.

But why are Zambian men so eager to satisfy their sexual fantasies by watching the naked Zodwa? She is not even an artiste like Mampi or Beyonce. In fact, she is not even a good dancer. Anyone can do what she does if they had the incredulous imbecility of being stupid. What Zodwa does is stupid. The sad part of the matter is that Zodwa’s fan base is growing much more among men than women. Perhaps that’s the goal of the Zodwa manifesto. Only men can pay to watch a mad woman dancing naked.

What’s the way forward? Women in Zambia must jack up and jack up very fast. My fear is Zodwa may recruit disciples from here in Zambia and your marriages will disintegrate faster than rain water in the Barotse sands. Quick action is needed.

Firstly, women should keep vigil at Kenneth Kaunda airport and give Zodwa such a beating that she will forget who she is -if she ever came to Zambia. Secondly, can you transform yourselves into little Zodwas so your men won’t drool over the mad Zodwa Wa Bantu. It’s clear from the hullabaloo going around that your men are enchanted by Zodwa. Build a stage in your house where you can strip dance for your husband or fiancé with a cider bottle in the hand. You may just keep your husband home and HIV from your family.

But I’m not saying you should skimpily be swinging your naked buttocks in the compounds like a pendulum. Keep the trade to your houses or you will become divorcees faster than you can say sorry. Not even these spellbound husbands of yours would want the public to know that they are married to Zodwa Wa Bantu.

For once I agree with Minister Sumaili. Demoniacs like Zodwa should be fenced out of Zambia. What is her purpose for showing her nudity if not to hypnotise men into mindless sex maniacs? A Christian nation worth it’s salt should not allow citizens of Sodom and Gomorrah in our midst. We have enough wickedness in corruption, police brutality, high fuel prices and the Chinese.

It’s because of characters promoting the Zodwa manifesto that God deluged the earth in Noah’s time and rained fire on Sodom and Gomorrah to stun Loti’s wife into a pile of salt. As a country, we should have standards of behaviour that sets us apart from everyone else. South Africa has the highest prevalence rate of HIV/AIDS world over, I suspect it’s because of too many Zodwas.

 

TS

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